Unhealthy

With every relationship I get in to or out of, it comes with it’s own set of unhealthy characteristics –it’s holding a grudge, to wanting to kick the shit outta my sister cause she gave me a hug, to purposely trying to make me jealous every chance possible. I feel like I’m fucking cursed and there’s no way out of this endless cycle of self induced misery. I put myself on the line every time to find something worth while, something to keep a hold of, but I feel my fingers begin to slip and my feelings waiver in and out of happiness. Maybe it’s my depression or still lusting for a fix.
It’s hard to look forward and so fucking easy to turn back to the self indulgent piece of shit addict of months ago, but some would say I am still a piece of shit despite sobriety.