Jun. 26th, 2017 02:22 pm
It’s not all about sex, it’s the attention, affection, companionship I crave. Yet, I always find myself in situations where the likelihood of something “more” is most likely not going to happen. I have no one to blame but myself and putting myself into these situations and with the admission of feelings almost always leads to rejection despite spilling my heart, my regrettable mistakes and how much those thing have hurt and hindered me. I am human, I make mistakes and often bad choices but those things shouldn’t be held against me when I try to show I am sincere. Those decisions I have made don’t define me. They don’t make up who I am, but those decisions are held over my head like a looming storm. I can smell the rain and know the storm is coming, but there is nothing I can do to stop it. How can we possibly move forward if the past is always brought up in the present?
Sometimes the most minor of incidents can cause the biggest impact. Good and/or Bad. Regardless of the outcome, I keep going. No matter how Lost I bcome , I will find myself again. I am overthinking, over-analyzing every mistake and misstep and wonder if those things could have prevented me from being the person I am now… The person I am now… A person constantly searching until he’s satisfied; persistant and emotional when I don’t get my way like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum… A person who surrounds himself around great friends, but likes coming home for time to be creative. There is still so much to learn… Are U Ready?

3 REaM

Apr. 22nd, 2017 06:50 pm
I want to feel your skin beneath my fingertips, The breath against my skin. I want to taste the alcohol on your lips. I want to watch the world spin, to see through blurred lenses and hold your hand in mine. I want to walk the beach and feel the sand beneath my toes, the water sneaking its way towards us and wash over us while we gaze at the stars. But it’s only a fantasy


Apr. 17th, 2017 01:01 pm
In the span of five days, a lot of things have changed.
But it is what it is. You chose what you did and have to live with that.

For so many reasons it was wrong.
But you have to live with that.


Apr. 14th, 2017 07:36 pm
Love is something that I have found once,
But haven’t since 2010.
That’s when it all fell apart
A piece of my heart was lost forever.

Now I am searching for that piece of my heart I lost,
But I know it can’t be completely filled and rather than waiting, I force the issue.

I’m pushy, clingy, sleazy, aggressive, troublesome and have less than stellar track record.
But despite those faults, I have a sentimental, affectionate, decent heart that yearns for something more than a one night stand or passing fling.



June 2017

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